Effective Love

My father went to be with his Father at eight-thirty AM, May 3rd.

He spent his life, both public and private, caring for people.

As he grew older, he lost some of his considerable mental faculties. But he still had the ability to shoot to the heart of the matter.

Love, he said, defined for practical purpose, is simply "beneficial caring". And he didn't mean just the niceties of modern philanthropy, writing that check to the deacon's benevolence fund or aid for Darfur, but actual in-your-face care. For many, that check might assuage the guilt complex which passes for conscience, and provide a false self-satisfaction; but my dad's aim was "Effective Love".

So it comes down to what's important: the self-satisfaction most of us seek and settle for, or real, deep and abiding effectiveness. Beneficial caring requires effort -- and response. It's a sure-fire guarantee of effectiveness, in both the giving and receiving.

Dad left school in the 8th grade to support his father, mother and sister. Called away from this for WWII, he refused a deferment and achieved the rank of Staff Sergeant in the Army. As a member of an anti-aircraft artillery unit, he served for 3 ½ years in the European theater from North Africa, Sicily, Italy, France to Germany, being awarded a Bronze Star -- which he never wore.

He returned to assume care of his family, caring for his own invalid father for eleven years.

The young man who didn't get past 8th grade taught himself to read both Hebrew and Greek, and taught college courses.

He was the best father a boy could hope for and the best friend a man can have.

My dad was effective. And his whole life was a demonstration of Effective Love.

And my father was a righteous man.

My father IS a righteous man.


Love you, Dad. Goodbye and hello and see-you-soon.


"And there are more i remember
And more i could mention
Than words i could write in a song
But i feel them watching
And i see them laughing
And i hear them singing along

We're all gonna be here forever
So mama don't you make such a stir
Just put down that camera
And come on and join up
The last of the family reserve"

- from The Family Reserve, by Lyle Lovett


And the moon is a sliver of silver
Like a shaving that fell on the floor of a Carpenter's shop
And every house must have it's builder
And I awoke in the house of God
Where the windows are mornings and evenings
Stretched from the sun across the sky north to south
And on my way to early meeting I heard the rocks crying out
I heard the rocks crying out

Be praised for all Your tenderness by these works of Your hands
Suns that rise and rains that fall to bless and bring to life Your land
Look down upon this winter wheat and be glad that You have made
Blue for the sky and the color green
That fills these fields with praise

And the wrens have returned and they're nesting
In the hollow of that oak where his heart once had been
And he lifts up his arms in a blessing for being born again
And the streams are all swollen with winter
Winter unfrozen and free to run away now
And I'm amazed when I remember Who it was that built this house
And with the rocks I cry out

Be praised for all Your tenderness by these works of Your hands
Suns that rise and rains that fall to bless and bring to life Your land
Look down upon this winter wheat and be glad that You have made
Blue for the sky and the color green
That fills these fields with praise

- from The Color Green, by Rich Mullins